The Legend Of Billie Jean (1985)

While we're on the subject of cheesey endings, I give you 1985's The Legend Of Billie Jean. In case you don't recall, Binx notices a snowmobile as he's walking out of a ski lodge to which he exclaims, "Far out!" As if they were trying to say, "Here we go again, wink, wink." Now maybe it's just me but I always thought this was a setup for a sequel where Billie Jean battles hillbillys in the mountains of Vermont after they trash Binx's snowmobile. Yeah, it was definitely just me.

Aside from the ending and the dated music, although Benatar's track is still powerful, the movie holds up pretty well today. At its core, it's a solid outlaw western updated to the 1980's. Add to that some Joan of Arc references and a strong leading lady thanks to a top-notch performance by Helen Slater.

Cloak & Dagger (1984)

Man, talk about a wordy movie poster. I guess if the image from the movie plus two taglines just doesn't cut it, print the entire plot summary in multiple paragraphs right next to the star's head! Clearly the studio execs want you to know exactly what you're getting yourself into.

Cloak & Dagger encompasses what all 80's flicks of its kind were all about: throwing kids into dangerous situations. At the same time, it manages to tackle the video game craze, Dabney Coleman in dual-roles, harrowing chase scenes, Elderly undercover spies, and all the while badass Henry Thomas commanding a great lead.

And now a word on that horrible ending. In one brief moment, they single-handedly reduced an otherwise solid spy-thriller to some cheesey father-son relationship propaganda bullsheezy. "You're my real hero Dad!"

Fortress (1986)

HBO has a long history of producing some amazing films and this post-Ozploitation piece is no exception. I can remember first watching it with my cousin while sleeping over my grandmother's house and being scared shitless. Because this story could happen anywhere, any time. And apparently it did. For real.

Part survival adventure, part Lord Of The Flies descent, it remains one the most visceral, haunting, and at the same time empowering movies ever made about teachers and students.

Back from a long hiatus

I can't believe it's really been over a year since I last posted a review on here. I guess the problem I had was that it was difficult to write about movies that I hadn't seen recently, let alone since I was a little kidiot.

Luckily I managed to get a blu-ray dvd player with network capabilities and can now stream movies from both netflix and youtube! If I had this technology when I was younger I never would have left the house. Funny thing is, now that I'm married, I never leave the house. Bring on the movies!