Cocoon (1985)

I'd like to change gears here a bit and get back to an overused 80's movie obsession: aliens. Only this time instead of aliens befriending a young boy to help them get home, it's a bunch of old people and dorky ass Steve Guttenburg. A swimming pool becomes a fountain of youth thanks to the alien cocoons, but as the old folks regain their health, the aliens get the life drained out of them.

Watching this movie again for the first time since my youth, Steve Guttenburg damn near drained the life out of me. His goofy antics and horribly bad jokes really put a damper on the film. However Ron Howard's tight direction and the rest of the cast luckily make up for it. Wilferd Brimley's heart-to-heart fishing scene with D.A.R.Y.L. is pure movie magic.

Now Steve, get the hell out of my pool.

BMX Bandits (1983)

When looking up movies directed by Brian Trenchard-Smith I was reminded of 1983's BMX Bandits starring Nicole Kidman in one of her first roles. During the big unicorn and video game crazes of that time period, there was also a huge street bike craze going on. On my block, Mongooses, Diamondbacks, and Dynos ruled the streets. Yet my sorry ass never got one. I had to settle for a Huffy Street-Heat from Bradlees that was clearly no match for those beasts. So sad.

This movie celebrates all the little nuances of street bike culture for kids, even the opening credits plays like some dated bmx promo vid. It also does a good job of making grown-ups look like idiots and of course the bandits are the heroes that save the day. Aside from the silly action sequences, it's a great little flick.

The Quest (1986)

Finishing out the Foreign-made section is an Australian flick from director Brian Trenchard-Smith. This time we find Henry Thomas being taken full advantage for his E.T. star power. I mean, the original movie poster even mentions this in case people needed reminding. Not only that but it goes on with a personal invitation from Thomas himself to go see this movie. Talk about pressure.

The movie does a good job in convincing little kidiots that the backhoe machine at the bottom of a pond is actually a Loch Ness type monster aka "donkegine." Pretty damn clever I must admit. And when I was a little kidiot, it scared the crap out of me.

After months of envying a friend of mine for possessing a VHS copy of this flick, I managed to find a copy at the Good Will for 2 dollars. Zing!

The Peanut Butter Solution (1985)

Another Canadian import that needs no introduction, this was that movie that lurked somewhere deep in your memory but seemed far too bizarre to be an actual movie. More like a dream. Apparently a lot of people my age share the same sentiment about it, probably because it was never released on DVD.........yet.

Bonus points if you remember that scene when the Chinese kid puts the solution on his balls and then has pubes growing out his pant legs. Only in the 80's.

The Dog Who Stopped The War (1984)

Staying on the subject of foreign-made family films, I give you the French Canadian import The Dog Who Stopped The War (La Guerre Des Tuques). If ever there was a movie that celebrated being a kid and playing in the snow, this is it. That snow fort was huuuuuuge. I had always wanted to go out and build one just like it, but always got tired and settled for a little wall. That fell over. Minutes later.

The English dubbing makes for some classic funny moments, especially with the Chinese kids. Unfortunately there are currently no English dubbed clips available on youtube. Oh well.

Making Contact aka Joey (1985)

Now I can't really confirm that I actually saw this when I was a kid, I watched it recently after finding a VHS copy at my local library and didn't remember any of it. Either way, it's a fun little odd film from director Roland Emmerich, who gave us Stargate and Independence Day.

Being made in Germany, it shares that quirkiness and charm that only foreign-made family films of that time period possess. There's also a lot of silly references to Star Wars, E.T., and Poltergeist sprinkled throughout. At first I thought it was just an homage, but it gets to the point where it's a little too blatantly obvious that they're ripping them off.

Something Wicked This Way Comes (1983)

Finishing out the scary movie department (for now) is Ray Bradbury's Something Wicked This Way Comes. Jonathan Pryce was pretty damn scary as Mr. Dark, who terrorizes the two boys and the town. I always thought Jason Robards was a little old to be playing one of the boys' father.

Yes, I know this is a Disney film and really isn't that scary by today's standards. But it is definitely creepy, in that Twighlight Zone sort of way and has great atmosphere.